Popular Nigerian relationship coach and lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Kingsley Okonkwo, has ignited widespread discussion on social media after calling on men to raise their expectations in marriage and avoid partners he described as “liabilities.”
In a series of posts shared on his official X account (@kingsleypst) on Sunday, March 15, 2026, Okonkwo argued that many men now view marriage as a financial burden rather than a mutual partnership, largely due to a pattern of marrying women who contribute little economically.
“Men it’s high time we start having standards as well, you guys are too used to women that are liabilities that’s why less and less men desire marriage, they see it as a burden,” he wrote.
He further advised: “Men set standards like you won’t marry broke women too, that you want a partner and not a dependent, maybe it will make more women work and not see marriage and dating as a poverty alleviation scheme.”
Okonkwo criticised what he called an “unbiblical” and “damaging” societal trend where women openly demand wealthy partners while men face pressure to provide without reciprocity. “Women brazenly insist on rich men I think we and also insist on working women that will contribute,” he added.
The pastor also addressed men who deliberately choose financially vulnerable women to maintain control, describing the behaviour as rooted in insecurity. “Yes, I know some of you men like the needy, hungry and dependent women because it boosts your ego and helps you control women, but it’s doing more harm than good. All humans have value and abilities; let them develop it,” he cautioned.
The remarks quickly spread across platforms, amplified by reposts from accounts such as Instablog9ja, YabaLeftOnline, PM News Nigeria, and various celebrity gist pages. Reactions have been sharply divided: supporters praised Okonkwo for promoting balanced, mutual partnerships and accountability, while critics accused him of reducing marriage to finances, undermining traditional gender roles, and overlooking non-monetary contributions like homemaking, emotional support, and child-rearing.
Some commenters argued that societal undervaluation of women’s domestic labour already places an unfair burden on them, while others agreed that modern economic realities require both partners to contribute financially.
